Better to wear out than rust out

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

BY STEVE JANOSKI

When you go through elementary and middle school, there’s always "next year" to think about. You’re a year closer to high school, a year closer to driving, a year closer to being 18, a year closer to 21. Something exciting always lies around the bend that’s making right now worth it, and you just can’t wait until "the future" is here.

That wide open world is an electrifying one where you could still be president or an astronaut or a pro baseball player because life hasn’t really arrived and showed you the beating you’re going to take. Instead it waits and watches our ignorant youth, smiles at our idealism, and then plots our demise.

But when it stands and delivers, it does so fiercely. Some of us it kills outright before we reach our prime. Others get in trouble, either with the law or other things, and spend the rest of their time fighting for redemption. A few take off, and shoot right to the top of the food chain in whatever they do. These folks are rare.

Most of us end up somewhere in the middle though, and after high school or college, we find a "real job," which sounds the death knell of looking forward to "what’s around the bend."

In some professions there’s something like a promotion or pay increase to work toward, but many times those are vague hopes, moving targets that can seem so far away that working "toward" them can feel like a Sisyphean task.

It becomes all too easy to settle into what some might call a rut, even in a job you love. The days charge by, the calendar years change, and life rolls at a downhill pace that leaves us wondering where the last decade or so went.

Even our hobbies can take on a mundane feeling, and it becomes rare that we step out of our narrow box and feel the intimidation or discomfort that comes inherent with doing a new thing. We’re too old, too fat, too slow, too tired to be bothered.

This has led to what writer Richard Strozzi-Heckler once called a "muted nation of spectators," a country full of people who live and die by what happens in the sporting arena or on reality TV— not realizing that their own reality is slipping away with every minute.

Strozzi-Heckler blamed this on the manner in which we’re educated.

I disagree. I think it’s just a matter of being human.

We fear the things that we don’t know or haven’t experienced, and breaking through the bars that keep us in the cages we’ve created is just too much for some.

We like patterns, stability, and comfort— and our living room couches tend to be quite comfortable. We forget that the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole.

In the last year I’ve found that there is only one way to break this, and although it is simple and sounds easy, it’s a violent transition that is more difficult than it seems: get out in the world, and do things.

As we age, we must, must, must try new things in the attempt to constantly improve. Go somewhere different, join a class, learn a trade, just do something that makes you better than you were an hour ago.

Nobody can set the goal for you, and that’s what makes it both easier and more difficult. I knew I wanted to formally learn to box, but stepping into a boxing gym, no matter where it is, is difficult. It is intimidating, and uncomfortable, until you get a sense of the place.

But that in itself is an adventure. Having that feeling, the worried quiver in the pit your stomach, over something that isn’t all that scary is worth it because once it’s conquered, it’s gone. It’s a tiny victory that no matter how seemingly insignificant, makes us just a little bit tougher, a little bit smarter.

I’ve tried to live this creed out in the last year. I quit smoking, joined a gym, shot a gun, went to a live boxing match, read as many books as I could, and learned to hit a speed bag, All of these were skills or things that a year ago at this time, I couldn’t do, or hadn’t done.

And although they’re not going to win me any medals, although nobody else cares whether I did them or not, they’ve made me believe that over the course of this year, I’ve made progress.

I’m a physically stronger, smarter, better person than I was at this time last year. I was not static, I did not rust on the couch, I did not watch others live while my own life leaked away.

A friend of mine who took up running in his mid-50s sent me an e-mail a month ago talking about a 5K he had run on Thanksgiving morning.

"Funny thing about life," he wrote. "Some participate, most just watch. I suppose both have their merits."

I disagree with him as well. There is no merit in just watching.

In 2011, don't watch. Do.

Email: janoski@northjersey.com

http://www.northjersey.com/recreation/112644679_Better_to_wear_out_than_rust_out.html?c=y&page=1